I have been trying to get the hell out of home for a long time now. And we all know, when we try to get 'the hell out', a long time seems a really really long time.
Desperation has its own way of stretching time. Desperation is a bad bitch of only one kind.
And now I have a way out.
And only when there is not even a full twenty four hours left for my much awaited way out of home, do I realise so many things.
I realise how I would miss the way my mother would let me sleep on all days. I have this one kind of mother. I have people complaining how their moms would wake them up early; my mother would let me sleep instead. Everytime i asked her why she doesnot call me up, she would smile and say, 'afternoons are morning for you, I know'.
I realise how for days, I had only woke up on afternoons and binge watched friends, in a locked up room; and noone bothered me.
I have this habit of kissing twice my dog, before going to bed. Twice, always; on his head. I realise how from tomorrow, he would wait for that kiss and I won't be there.
There had been days when I would just stare at the wall. I did it today while lying on my back and I saw that little cobweb in one corner. I realise it had been there for days. I would not get to see that from tomorrow.
My grandmom makes sure I have my morning tea; even if that's 1pm when I leave bed. Noone would care to slip the cup from the door to my bed without making a sound, because I would be too damn busy watching friends, from tomorrow.
My father has been giving me money; more than I need to survive for a month. I keep telling him that I can always withdraw from the ATM. But he is like, shut up and take this. I realise he cares.
I took a stroll during the dusk around the house today. I saw moss at places, places where noone cares to clean. Beneath water pipes, corners of the boundary wall, behind the hypotenusely placed ladder. I realise they have grown when I was home. The next new moss that grows here will grow in my absence.
I gazed at the streetlights today, infront of my home and it took me some time to fix the focus of my eyes, because by then emotions have been the bitch, tears have started coming and I have became volatile.
Whatever.
I realised how beautiful streetlights can be, and how heartless have I been to never have appreciated it.
And just when I have to leave, do I realise that there had been so many things I took for granted all this while.
All the times grandmom wanted to tell her little funny story and I was busy texting, all the times mother came home and I was too lazy to make her a cup of tea, all the times my dog wanted to play but I just let him sleep on me, all the times brother wanted to spend some more time and I was not feeling like.
All the times, I took love, care and home for granted.
Going way might be adventurous they say; Going away is difficult too.
Desperation has its own way of stretching time. Desperation is a bad bitch of only one kind.
And now I have a way out.
And only when there is not even a full twenty four hours left for my much awaited way out of home, do I realise so many things.
I realise how I would miss the way my mother would let me sleep on all days. I have this one kind of mother. I have people complaining how their moms would wake them up early; my mother would let me sleep instead. Everytime i asked her why she doesnot call me up, she would smile and say, 'afternoons are morning for you, I know'.
I realise how for days, I had only woke up on afternoons and binge watched friends, in a locked up room; and noone bothered me.
I have this habit of kissing twice my dog, before going to bed. Twice, always; on his head. I realise how from tomorrow, he would wait for that kiss and I won't be there.
There had been days when I would just stare at the wall. I did it today while lying on my back and I saw that little cobweb in one corner. I realise it had been there for days. I would not get to see that from tomorrow.
My grandmom makes sure I have my morning tea; even if that's 1pm when I leave bed. Noone would care to slip the cup from the door to my bed without making a sound, because I would be too damn busy watching friends, from tomorrow.
My father has been giving me money; more than I need to survive for a month. I keep telling him that I can always withdraw from the ATM. But he is like, shut up and take this. I realise he cares.
I took a stroll during the dusk around the house today. I saw moss at places, places where noone cares to clean. Beneath water pipes, corners of the boundary wall, behind the hypotenusely placed ladder. I realise they have grown when I was home. The next new moss that grows here will grow in my absence.
I gazed at the streetlights today, infront of my home and it took me some time to fix the focus of my eyes, because by then emotions have been the bitch, tears have started coming and I have became volatile.
Whatever.
I realised how beautiful streetlights can be, and how heartless have I been to never have appreciated it.
And just when I have to leave, do I realise that there had been so many things I took for granted all this while.
All the times grandmom wanted to tell her little funny story and I was busy texting, all the times mother came home and I was too lazy to make her a cup of tea, all the times my dog wanted to play but I just let him sleep on me, all the times brother wanted to spend some more time and I was not feeling like.
All the times, I took love, care and home for granted.
Going way might be adventurous they say; Going away is difficult too.
